Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Stay awake for me.

I have lots of thing you should be checking out!!






My other new blog area 0-o


Wheeeww thats a lot huh?

But other than that wanna see a hot picture of me And the Beautiful Khrist???
She is beautiful huh?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Always on the move man!

I have been absolutely horrible At this whole blogging thing huh?
Hopefully now i can be more of an active blogger.

So I have some news, I'm moving away! Far away! To explore the wonders of the windy city!
I seriously am so drained from my surroundings that I have put Modeling and Hairstyling aside. It's really lame.
I haven't been doing hair at all recently! I don't think i even have the balls to style someones hair right now.

So im planning this whole Personal trip to gather myself and get motivated! I feel as though i let myself down a bit.
So Im changing my whole routine. Im not fucking around lmao ^-^ You'll see.

Just because i said i wasn't excelling in modeling doesn't mean i havnt been shooting!

here's something new yay! 0-o


Thursday, July 9, 2009


I know I fucking know Im LAME for not keeping up with my blog.
Its was like i was still living on the internet but i didn't have the energy to post anything.

Ok So i was just hanging out Chase lisbon and Apnea! It was a lot of fun! I spent my july 4th weekend with them.
buut Im not going to talk about that just yet,

Let's go back in time a little,

wom wom wom wom wom wom wom 0-o ok im stoned and that's my sound effect for a flash back :)

I was In chicago a little while back! It was amazing 0-o LIke effing amazing!

I was with Amiria Divine, who is truly one of the best models i know. A true artist.
We ate so much eggs it was ridiculous. oooo oo and subway! That girl has me hooked on subway! fo realz son.
The first night I got there she takes me to this breakcore show! which was off the hook! I OF COURSE got drunk.
I got to cuddle with her and I dont know if you know this but daaaaaaamn this girl has the best best damn body in the world!
so you know I wanted to at least cuddle at night. She had to literally bring me everywhere! (seeing that i had never been to chicago) Any way i love her. Here is this amazing shot of her in this shoot with Billy!

Yea and I also shot with the effing amazing Billy Sheahan! He is so so.... awesome. we had subway on the roof i saw the tallest building in the usa i think its called the sears tower? I was outside oprahs building. I received a large amount of some green
0-o I didn't get robbed or die in a plane. All is well. Im a very paranoid person. Back to billy, anyway I have these images down here that we took together! they are awesome! I can't wait to see him again.

Dont they kick ass! well anyway ill tell you more tommorow!


Thursday, May 21, 2009

Today is the Love day!

This kid is an amazing musician. I've been though a lot with this man (Good and bad), I love him a lot.
check out his music at http://www.myspace.com/ghostsandscience

I Love dastardly Dave! sooooo much! He really is my other half in making amazing work!
He is definitely my favorite photographer in the world!

I love love love Rana X

The best designer on the east coast! whaaaaat!

I seriously love this woman!

Matthew matthew matthew....... oh how you annoy me, drive me into insanity, make me wan to throw you into a pool of meat eating fish. I Still love you. Your always there when i really need you! much love yo'

These people down there are amazing! They help me lots! :)
Warm hearted love love love love love <3

Amira Divine!

One of the hottest girlies ever! I love her very very much! I never get to see her :(
But when i do im a happy happy girl <3


My girl. yea i don't know if you know who she is buuut, she's kinda of a big deal. People know her. She even has her own tour bus. i love her!

I have lots more! im just tired now....


I love everyone!


This message is brought to by MARAJUANA!!!!!!!!!!!

hippie shit!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Collective chaos designs :)

So finally i just shipped some beautiful pieces back to where they came from!

Im wicked excited to see the all the final images! I don't really get to work with to many designers, so when i do I appreciate them!

Hopefully we got a whole set! Time was a little pressed.

Lately i have been feeling a little down about my work. I know it's just a funk. But I feel like im not growing 0-o

I just got back from cali, and i didn't "find myself"

haha I actually came back rather quickly......

Im a little stressed these days lol.

I need a J-O-B lmao

well anyway heres a new pic from the shoot!


Friday, May 8, 2009

Flipping my coin....

I woke up today to find a 50 cent coin stuck to me. So I asked a question and flipped it.

I got my answer. I think i am leaving temporarily to go and "find myself" for a while.

Go see the world. Explore.

heh maybe ill find answers I didn't know i was looking for.

The funny thing about this coin is no matter how many times I flipped it, The results always favored My QUEST.



(i am known to be a nut)

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The future

It's Like the future is so unclear. I can't even see my tomorrow. But am I supposed to? It really fucks me up because I always need a plan ya know? I always have to know what I am going to do. Right now I have no fucking clue.

Ill figure everything out.

I just need to clear my head and figure out what I really want.

Sometime I wonder.... Why the hell do I post my life on the internet?!!

Crazy... 0-o

well thats my little update :)


Saturday, April 25, 2009

Being Compared :/

You have to admit, everyone gets compared to someone else.

It pisses me off!...... but eh I got used to it :)

So many people think they have created some "genre" and most of the time it's not true 0-o
They really should just take a look back, and realize most everything has been done.
I go to stores and stuff and im always like "ok how can I be different from these girls" and I've realized by doing that im still falling into a category. I should be concentrating on being myself and not caring if   some other girl wore something similar, or my new hair cut is to close to another models. Its ridiculous,  especially when you try so hard to make your footprint and some fucking wave keeps washing them away with their "oooh wait didn't blah blah do that" bullshit.

I look up to A lot of people <3>
I always Love taking little pieces that i love from people and keep them with me and sometimes even involve them into my life!

I think a lot of people do that.   but eh what's to do, but keep on with the positive. :)~

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Drinking alone


Im alone in my room. It is saturday Night and im a hot girl in her pj's drinking wine out of the bottle. haha

Im actually ridiculous. Im listening to depressing music wishing I was In california. I work at dunking donuts! which is a nightmare!  

Im the glamour life,
I have to continuously deal with people so high on there horse it almost makes it difficult to remember to just be myself. 

Nothing is for free. People are only your friends when they feel they can benefit off you. Its true, people have incredibly busy lives, until they feel you can benefit off you.

BEWARE your fake companions 0-o

Im alone A lot! I love it. I feel i trust myself  more than i could ever anyone else.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


To have faith in someone. To belive in someone....?

Not many people know how to do that.... But it doesn't matter! I use that energy for the good regardless!

It kinda gives me more motivation >:)


Wednesday, March 18, 2009

It's a doggy dog world.... Son >:\

It's odd, how people can't start something new or suddenly have a new passion without some Pretentious asshole giving  some belittling speech because they have been in the "Scene" and they "Know" how the world goes round. Nice way to welcome new potential.

hmm today Im wicked full! Full of KFC whooo :) Dr pepper is my Favorite soda! For real without fast food wouldn't be as sweet. :p

Today has been a good day. I have my ambition to do what I have to do. Im usually all over the place but im more at one piece this afternoon. 

Listening to bright eyes :) smoking my day away O-o


Monday, March 16, 2009

Im Sorry......

Ok I Said some things in my last blog that might of been mistakenly offensive.

I LOVE the alt community. BTW no one owns the community. 
"ALT" is alternative to the norm! I PERSONALLY have been wanting to pursue Something different sometimes, something new. Commercial- Glam- Vouge! shit I don't know! I love NEW! Cant you see There ARE NO LINES! No boundaries! My work that i wish to pursue is limitless 0-o

I work just as hard as any other type of artist! I just want everything to be a unification. But eh im just a weird hippie. hahah Who knows if anyone will ever make it but im going to do my thing regardless. xo

I BUST MY FUCKING ASS! THIS IS MY LIFE!! I always put as much passion into all my work as possible. I want to do great things <3

**I Get help from some of the most Amazing people, and Appreciate Them with all my heart. I wouldn't be where I am now without the help I have got. I owe them a Lot and also would do be there for them if ever needed.

blah this is long. im stoned heheh and drunk. soo.... ha      o- O

I have come to find out that passionate people are sensitive especially when they don't understand something..... Especially when dealing with being a passionate person yourself.

eh shizz always works out in the end :)

today over all LONG and tiresome :(

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Disaster In new york!

So I arrived in nYc about 2:30 am, Waited in line for about 15 horrible hours of pushing and yelling threats being thrown about. Im about 75 people out of  8,000 away from the door. I was almost there! I almost was at least able to show my face... To show that I wasn't some girl from the hood. I am a Model! Face Tats and all! 

All of a sudden i hear screams coming from the end of the street, Panic and screams and smoke fills the air! I then felt an overwhelming force of hundreds of people push against me.
My suitcase gone. Shoes gone. All i could see was the concrete and felt feet trampling all over my back. No one helped me! Then this life saving girl Started to scream that I was under the mass getting crushed, And some officer managed to pull me to the surface. My back is in tremendous pain. My head is in pain, as soon as i finally got pulled out I was so out of breath that I Blacked out right in new york city! The paramedic told me to go to the hospital. Of course i refused. 

I was in a fucking corcet! It sucked! I didn't even get to show them! I didn't get my chance!!...
What now? Just be some alt model that is infamous for the same shit every other "alt" model is known for. 

This really has effected me hardcore. 

When will i see the light. Maybe im not supposed to be in the lime light.
Just alt sites on the internet. 

Internet fame is prob my only chance at this game. Great. 

sometime i hate my stars on my face. they really restrict me.



Thursday, March 12, 2009

Americas Next Top Model

So I just found out about castings calls for America's next top model! I Am going to the one in New York this saturday! Im so excited! I hope I make it in the show ^_^ That would be so amazing! Cross your fingers folks! Wow i'm excited 0-O Knowing my luck they'll just laugh at me hardcore....

Well i'm showing up in a corset, tight jeans and an attitude that'll make you want the shit out of me. haha

yea wish me luck!


Sunday, March 1, 2009

Whoo Video!

Today I sent the rest of my applications out for my oh so wanted 9-5 job :|

I just want to be in a salon, or working for mac or some other amazing makeup outlet.
With a little hard work and some shit taking and i know eventually ill find my peace.

Decisions are made with thoughts.
If i am thoughtless what am i basing my decisions on?


on another note! 

So im getting this video camera!! I've recently have found this crazy new love for video and editing 0-o 

So keep your eyeballs peeled for some video content from me! 


Monday, February 23, 2009

Ugh confused.

So second thoughts on traveling to california. I think i'm to scared. Im scared to maybe lose the things i have here if i go. hmmm what to do? what to do? I don't want to disappoint anyone, I just want to do what's best for me and my energy to grow. I need my brain to not be torn in two parts. I have to think clearly. heh. deep.

haha im such a goth. 

but yea that what's basically going down. Me freaking out about things hahaha. Spaz i am.


Sunday, February 22, 2009

A BreaK In

So Yesterday I find out my house has been robbed.  Usually i would not post something so personal, but this particular event is weird. I feel like signs all point to leave my area. I was robbed, but for some reason i had all my important things on me. It actually didn't effect me at all. But it did scare me. Not in a omg what if he returns way, but in a omg what if i really am stuck in this type of neighborhood forever! I mean of course right away i wanted to move out! But now it's more of a location thing i think. I know I have to leave this crazy place. 


Saturday, February 21, 2009

Asphyxia's first blogger blog hahaha

So tired! 
I recently just got back home from San Francisco. It was sooo fun!!
I think that it's the best city in the world! In the world! I would move there if i wasn't such a scared ass. hahaha 

I was sick.
but even tho I still went and saw the city :)
It was so akward being in a new place.

I want to go back soooo bad. I wish life events made it so i was able to. But alas I can have 
My cake and eat it to huh?