Being Compared :/

You have to admit, everyone gets compared to someone else.

.....

It pisses me off!...... but eh I got used to it :)

So many people think they have created some "genre" and most of the time it's not true 0-o

They really should just take a look back, and realize most everything has been done.

I go to stores and stuff and im always like "ok how can I be different from these girls" and I've realized by doing that im still falling into a category. I should be concentrating on being myself and not caring if   some other girl wore something similar, or my new hair cut is to close to another models. Its ridiculous,  especially when you try so hard to make your footprint and some fucking wave keeps washing them away with their "oooh wait didn't blah blah do that" bullshit.

I look up to A lot of people <3>

I always Love taking little pieces that i love from people and keep them with me and sometimes even involve them into my life!

I think a lot of people do that.   but eh what's to do, but keep on with the positive. :)~

Drinking alone

Hmm

Im alone in my room. It is saturday Night and im a hot girl in her pj's drinking wine out of the bottle. haha

Im actually ridiculous. Im listening to depressing music wishing I was In california. I work at dunking donuts! which is a nightmare!  

Im the glamour life,

I have to continuously deal with people so high on there horse it almost makes it difficult to remember to just be myself. 

Nothing is for free. People are only your friends when they feel they can benefit off you. Its true, people have incredibly busy lives, until they feel you can benefit off you.

BEWARE your fake companions 0-o

Im alone A lot! I love it. I feel i trust myself  more than i could ever anyone else.

Faith

To have faith in someone. To belive in someone....?

Not many people know how to do that.... But it doesn't matter! I use that energy for the good regardless!

It kinda gives me more motivation >:)

A.

It's a doggy dog world.... Son >:\

It's odd, how people can't start something new or suddenly have a new passion without some Pretentious asshole giving  some belittling speech because they have been in the "Scene" and they "Know" how the world goes round. Nice way to welcome new potential.

hmm today Im wicked full! Full of KFC whooo :) Dr pepper is my Favorite soda! For real without fast food wouldn't be as sweet. :p

Today has been a good day. I have my ambition to do what I have to do. Im usually all over the place but im more at one piece this afternoon. 

Listening to bright eyes :) smoking my day away O-o

A.

Im Sorry......

Ok I Said some things in my last blog that might of been mistakenly offensive.

I LOVE the alt community. BTW no one owns the community. 

"ALT" is alternative to the norm! I PERSONALLY have been wanting to pursue Something different sometimes, something new. Commercial- Glam- Vouge! shit I don't know! I love NEW! Cant you see There ARE NO LINES! No boundaries! My work that i wish to pursue is limitless 0-o

I work just as hard as any other type of artist! I just want everything to be a unification. But eh im just a weird hippie. hahah Who knows if anyone will ever make it but im going to do my thing regardless. xo

~~~FYI~~~

I BUST MY FUCKING ASS! THIS IS MY LIFE!! I always put as much passion into all my work as possible. I want to do great things <3

**I Get help from some of the most Amazing people, and Appreciate Them with all my heart. I wouldn't be where I am now without the help I have got. I owe them a Lot and also would do be there for them if ever needed.

blah this is long. im stoned heheh and drunk. soo.... ha      o- O

I have come to find out that passionate people are sensitive especially when they don't understand something..... Especially when dealing with being a passionate person yourself.

eh shizz always works out in the end :)

today over all LONG and tiresome :(

A.

Disaster In new york!

So I arrived in nYc about 2:30 am, Waited in line for about 15 horrible hours of pushing and yelling threats being thrown about. Im about 75 people out of  8,000 away from the door. I was almost there! I almost was at least able to show my face... To show that I wasn't some girl from the hood. I am a Model! Face Tats and all! 

All of a sudden i hear screams coming from the end of the street, Panic and screams and smoke fills the air! I then felt an overwhelming force of hundreds of people push against me.

My suitcase gone. Shoes gone. All i could see was the concrete and felt feet trampling all over my back. No one helped me! Then this life saving girl Started to scream that I was under the mass getting crushed, And some officer managed to pull me to the surface. My back is in tremendous pain. My head is in pain, as soon as i finally got pulled out I was so out of breath that I Blacked out right in new york city! The paramedic told me to go to the hospital. Of course i refused. 

I was in a fucking corcet! It sucked! I didn't even get to show them! I didn't get my chance!!...

What now? Just be some alt model that is infamous for the same shit every other "alt" model is known for. 

This really has effected me hardcore. 

When will i see the light. Maybe im not supposed to be in the lime light.

Just alt sites on the internet. 

Internet fame is prob my only chance at this game. Great. 

sometime i hate my stars on my face. they really restrict me.

fuck.

A.

Americas Next Top Model

So I just found out about castings calls for America's next top model! I Am going to the one in New York this saturday! Im so excited! I hope I make it in the show ^_^ That would be so amazing! Cross your fingers folks! Wow i'm excited 0-O Knowing my luck they'll just laugh at me hardcore....

Well i'm showing up in a corset, tight jeans and an attitude that'll make you want the shit out of me. haha

yea wish me luck!

A.